Today as I was going through my books — yes, more books — I realized why I do this. Furthermore, I think I might even be a hypocrite.

Some time last week, I wrote a post about conspicuous consumption. I blasted people who bought their Viking ovens, but didn’t use them. Tonight I realized for the first time that I do the exact same thing I’m just at a much lower price point.

I buy sewing stuff because I wish so badly that I enjoyed sewing. The reality of the situation is that I don’t enjoy it because I lack attention to detail. About 10 minutes into it I get frustrated which turns into boredom. However, I keep telling myself that if I just sew more eventually I will grow to love it.

So now I have 2 sewing machines, 4 bins of fabric, 1 bin of zippers and thread, 40 sewing patterns, and 10 yards of red fleece that I just had to have because it was on sale for $20. What makes everything worse is that I still want to hold on to this stuff, but there’s no room in the RV for it all. There’s no way!

The same goes for my books. I buy books not because I plan on reading them that day, or that week, or even that month. I just buy them because I plan on reading them eventually. CM doesn’t get it. He gets frustrated because to him it’s all just a bunch of stuff I don’t use or read. But I look at that sewing machine every day. I look over the titles of all of my books and think about reading them every day.

This stuff is a part of me. Well, it’s a part of who I want to be. The truth is, I’m a freak for computers and everything computer-related, but I don’t want to be. When I’m facing my computer, I’m facing away from my family. I don’t want to be that person.

That’s why it’s so hard for me to part with my books and my sewing equipment and so much other stuff.