Usually I try to keep things pretty upbeat for the blog. I try to be positive about our experiences and look for lessons in the hard times. Well, I’m taking a break from that tonight because I’m PISSED!
I am so sick and tired of seeing people walking off with my bleepin’ stuff! Seriously, they’re always so happy because they got a great deal and I just feel like I’m losing pieces of myself bit by bit.
We needed money to buy the RV and we didn’t want to put ourselves too far in debt trying to buy it. Ok, that makes sense. So with a heavy heart I sold my computer. Fine, there’s no way two Apple cinema displays were fitting in the RV. Then the book dealer came and took my books. Books are heavy and there’s just not enough room for them, I get it. But tonight someone bought my Wacom tablet. It was one of those awesome new ones that’s basically a monitor you draw on. I LOVED THAT THING and now I’m friggin’ losing it!
I know we have lofty goals about what we want to teach our children. But geez, I feel like I’m the only one bleeding here! Yes, that’s what I feel like — like bleeding to death. The kids are keeping most of their toys, CM hasn’t had to part with anything precious to him, but day after day I lose something else.
I want to say it doesn’t hurt. I wish I was above it and could say they are just possessions; they are just things. But I don’t feel that way right now. And yes, I am disturbed about how upset I’m getting about this, but I’m losing everything I love. I get onto Widget all of the time when he says “don’t take that toy away, I love it.” CM & I tell him that love should be reserved for people. But from now on I’m gonna be a little more friggin’ understanding because now I know what it feels like.
Whew! That was a mouthful. I thought getting it out would make me feel better, but it totally didn’t. My shit is still gone and I’m not getting it back.














June 14th, 2008 at 3:48 pm
You know how many people would love to do what you are doing?
You have inspired my to start planning more family time. 2 weeks a year vacation will not cut it anymore.
You still have what is most important to you… Your husband and kids!
Keep up the good work!
June 14th, 2008 at 11:56 pm
You’re right. I need to step back and remember the big picture.
June 19th, 2008 at 12:39 am
Keeping your eye on the big picture is definitely important. But it’s also OK to feel the loss.